Seeing Myself

Have you ever wondered what other people think of you? The question often crosses my mind, but in the end, it doesn't particularly matter.  The question I more frequently ponder is how do I see myself? To be honest, I don't think its a question I can answer yet. I was thinking about that very question while I was at the lake and decided to take a few self-portraits in an effort to answer that question.

I like myself in black and white, perhaps boring to most people, I enjoy the simplicity black and white affords. Next, I have so many different paths to choose from, just like there is lots of branches from the little pier I'm walking on. I used to be pretty sure of which one I wanted to take, now I'm more unsure than I've ever been. My leg is blurred, it shows that I'm moving forward, it also seems to say to me that time isn't stopping while I try to make a decision. If I don't choose now, my  chance might be gone.  If I were to stop and make a decision right now, my choices would be to follow the path I'm on, and continue in science making my way towards medical school, or, make a 180 and pursue my passion, what I love to do... photography. It was windy and slippery when I took the picture, and fear kept me from venturing off to the sides, perhaps fear is the only thing delaying my current decision. 

This picture is fun for me to look at, because its almost like me asking myself what I'm thinking about... If my memory serves me there was an airplane I was looking at, its a pity it didn't show up in the frame.  I don't usually like pictures of myself, but I like this one, I'm looking with longing at something, perhaps what could have been, but more likely I've finally chosen my path and I'm looking resolutely towards what might come of it. I was tempted to take off my backpack while I took these pictures, but I didn't. While I'm analyzing my self-portraits I might as well say what I think the backpack means, its my camera bag, I'm thinking it means the choice I made involves my camera. That's the choice I want myself to make, but that's the choice I'm most afraid of.

It's actually kind of fun to objectively analyze a candid shot of yourself. I'd say give it a try, you never know what questions you'll end up asking yourself.